On May 13th, I quit my job. No, I quit my career, or at least what I thought was my career. Eight years in the non-profit world. No new job lined up, no real plan. Am I panicking? Nope. I am light; I am smiling.
May 13th was the last time I cried as I drove myself to work.
Burn out is a real issue.
I won't get into the topic of burn out right now, because honestly I don't think I'm ready to truly explore what burn out has done to me. I read the other day that working in a high-stress environment can really cause trauma for some. Of course, the obvious high-stress occupations come to mind (law enforcement, fire department, EMT, linemen, and so many more). I held what most would consider to be an office job, but it was so much more. I know so many people who have worked in this field and refer to their reasons for leaving as "traumatic" "stressful" "anxiety-inducing" and "reaching a breaking point". The article I read was so right. Not only did my work cause burn out, it caused real trauma.
May 31st will be my unofficial last day, after which I will step down to a part-time, work-at-home position doing two tasks that no one else is able to do and that I am rather good at. It's on my terms. I can be first.
First on my list: this blog. It probably won't be read by anyone for a long time. I don't care. I have a voice, I have something to say or process every day. I will use this platform to do so.
Second on my list: camping. I love to camp. I love anything that is outside. I flourish waking up to birdsong and sunshine with leaves rustling. Campfire coffee is the best coffee in the entire world, ash and all. I want to solo camp. I live in the Midwest where camping is either the past time of all or no one gets it. I have only a few friends who will camp with me and only three who will backpack. I have my first camping trip scheduled in a few weeks and I am biting at the bit to go camping sooner than that.
Third: family. I miss my family more than I say. I will finally be able to spend time with them for more than 24 hours at a time. I will be able to truly enjoy my time with them and do last minute things with my mom without stressing about timeframes because I have to get back home. I can be present for birthdays again.
From there, who knows. I have no plan, no direction. For the first time, I am okay with this. I am comfortable in the unknown, because it is my chance to come into my own.
